There were many times, I start feeling the motivation to write... stuff. Be it a thoughtful journal entry, attempts at a short story, maybe even a novel in infancy stage. It would start off the same. Some new blog tool online somewhere, or a pretty new notebook from Staples. The first post or entry would be something similar to this post; depicting how I've tried time and time again to write something down, to record my thoughts and events in my life, and how I will succeed this time in making it a habitual thing. Lo and behold it becomes another good idea brushed aside, collecting dust underneath my bed, or another website I don't visit.
Well, my associate at work suggests that I try again, and this time include friends, and co-authors to help me develop this... "train of thought". So, well, here goes.
Um. Well, here goes... nothing. I haven't a thought in my head at all. I'm sitting here, eating a microwaved lunch from one of those boxed meals. The box is labeled "Lemon Chicken with Rice," and I suppose this was chicken I just ingested, and I'm sure this is rice, but I don't taste the lemon anywhere. I'm sick, and I'm not even quite sure with what. Either I have a cold, and conjunctivitis just decided to bite me in the ass for shits and giggles, or I have conjunctivitis, and cold-like symptoms just decided to appear to spite me. Anyhow, I am sitting here feeling kind of icky and miserable with no one to whine to, so like any good emo person, I will write about it on my blog online. Sometimes, I scare myself with thoughts like, "is this punishment for an evil thought I had?" or "Oh no, maybe there is a god and he's making a point." (Btw, religious people please don't hate me. I'm not being judgmental!) Then in all my delirium of all the medication I take, I begin to wonder if karma exists, and then try to justify in my head why I should expect good things to happen to me soon.
Because you know, I'm such a wonderful person and all.
Of couse this contradicts my "YOSH! I control my own destiny!" ideal and well, then I just fall asleep because thinking too hard is just not a good thing to do. Especially when your brain is feeling like a 10 ton brick crushing itself and your eyes feel like they're about to implode into the pool of mucus that sits in the back of your throat. Yes, that's right, I managed to do some emo-whining in the midst of a clever rant-on sentence while grossing everyone out.
Ice cream will definitely help right now.
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